We often assume that when we feel hungry, we need some food, and sometimes, of course, we do. Physical hunger is simply our body asking for nourishment. We don’t need to earn food, deserve it or justify eating. If our body is hungry, we need to eat, but hunger isn’t always about food.
Sometimes we are hungry for comfort, love, attention, rest, safety, connection, pleasure or reassurance. Sometimes we are simply hungry for something in our life to change.
When we have had a difficult day, food can feel wonderfully comforting. When we are lonely, anxious or upset, reaching into the cupboard can become an automatic response. There is nothing wrong with enjoying food or finding pleasure in eating. The difficulty comes when food becomes the only way we know how to comfort ourselves.
Sometimes we are not hungry for food at all. We are hungry for love. We may want someone to care about us, notice that we are struggling or simply sit beside us. Food can offer comfort for a moment, but it cannot permanently satisfy a hunger for love or connection.
We can also become very hungry when we have been depriving ourselves. Restricting food, affection, rest, pleasure, freedom or connection doesn’t necessarily make the hunger disappear. Often, it makes it stronger.
So next time you notice yourself thinking, “Why do I want this?”, perhaps pause before judging yourself.
Ask gently:
What am I really hungry for?
Maybe the answer is food, and that’s perfectly okay. Maybe you are tired, maybe you need comfort, maybe you are lonely or maybe you need connection, reassurance or simply a break from everything.
We don’t have to be afraid of either food or feelings. We can learn to listen to both. Perhaps recovery isn’t about learning to control ourselves better, perhaps sometimes it is about learning to receive, food, love, pleasure, rest, kindness and the good things life has to offer, perhaps that is not just recovery.
Perhaps that is freedom.
Over the coming days, we will be sharing simple tips on our Facebook and other social media as well Calling It Out’s Substack for recognising and responding to different types of hunger, hunger for comfort, connection, rest, love, safety and more.
Sometimes, understanding what we are really hungry for can be the first small step towards taking better care of ourselves.
