Values: A Guide Back to Ourselves
“Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you $50,000 for a kiss and 50 cents for your soul.”
Marilyn Monroe
This witty remark captures a powerful truth: people hold different values, and sometimes society rewards what seems glamorous over what is truly meaningful. But what exactly are values?
Values are the core principles and beliefs that matter deeply to us. They shape our decisions, guide our behaviours, and influence how we experience the world. They are not just abstract ideals, we live them, every day, often without even realizing it.
However, when we struggle with something like Eating Distress/Eating Disorder, (ED) our perception of values can become distorted. We may begin to live according to values imposed by the ED condition rather than ones that reflect our authentic self. During ED, two types of values often emerge: those that arise from who we truly are, and those driven by the condition.
For instance, the pursuit of thinness may seem like a value. But is it truly ours? Or is it a demand from the distress, masquerading as something meaningful? Often, the values that stem from the ED are harsh, rigid, and self-destructive. They do not serve our growth, they hold us back.
Recovery begins with awareness. Becoming conscious of our values is the first step toward reclaiming our identity. Once we can clearly identify what truly matters to us, we can begin to make choices that reflect those truths. Values become our compass, hey help us navigate life’s challenges and uncertainties with greater clarity and confidence.
If you’re facing a difficult decision or feeling lost, it might be because your values are unclear or have been pushed aside. Ask yourself: how much time have I given to thinking about what I truly value? If the answer is “not much,” then perhaps today is the perfect time to begin.
Open your recovery journal or take a piece of paper, and gently reflect on the values that resonate with you. They could be simple, like kindness, friendship, honesty, or more complex, like justice, creativity, or spiritual connection. It doesn’t matter what they are; what matters is that they are yours.
Knowing your values is essential to living them. And as you begin to align your actions with what you believe in, you may find that life starts to shift in a more positive, fulfilling direction.
Affirmation: Today I re-examine my values about life.
