Skip to main content

Recovery is Learning to Love Life

By May 18, 2024No Comments

If someone told me this sentence when I was deep in the condition, I would strongly disagree with the statement. I would get defensive, I now this, because in the past, being defensive was my usual reaction.

The deeper we go with experiencing mental and emotional freedom, the more we realise that ED is a reaction to life.

As we said many times before, it is a coping mechanism. A very destructive, self-sabotaging and harmful coping mechanism. It takes time and willingness to understand our condition and see the how it really is, it takes time to see the wood from the trees.

I feel very privileged to be working with so many recovered people who from time to time come to me for upskilling sessions or supervision (even the best computers need updating and upskilling to prevent viruses). From their experiences, and my own, I have learned that recovery is really about learning how to love our life.

I would like to share a few points that have helped others, and hopefully could motivate you.

When you love something or someone, you do not need to like everything about them.

Years ago, I would call the word love ‘cheesy’ and very seldom I would use it. It was for the ‘hippies’. If I am honest, I connected this word with lots of pressure and responsibilities, for me, it was easier to stay away from it. I see from my work that these days, many people, especially in the early stages, are not very comfortable with the word ‘love’. What if we could change that? Let’s explore it and let’s even apply it.

My theory has always been that when something works for others, it will work for me. Sometimes ,it might just take a little more time than I would like.

What does ‘to love life means to you’?

So many people want to be happy, but often, the way we go about it, it only brings about disappointment. Happiness doesn’t come from a pill, happiness comes from acceptance and learning to fall in love with life, our life.

Here are few steps that helped people to experience these mental states which I am talking about:

Acceptance – yes, sometimes we are focusing on what we need to change, but to change something we need to accept it first.

Start to focus on what you call beautiful – there is so much beauty around, but we need to focus on it more. We are bombarded with so many negative things, and that can cloud our mind.


Be curious – The antidote for fear is curiosity. You cannot be curious and fearful at the same time. Fear makes us blind, curiosity helps us to see.


Put things into perspective – It all shall pass. So often we hear this sentence, but how often do we apply it to ourselves?

Present moment is very important – but the more pain you experience the more it helps to remind yourself it will get better one day. We can fear the future, or we can look forward to it. From my own experiences everything in the past can be used positively as a future learning.

Start to make a list of things to look forward to without over-analysing.

Be open to learning – Learning helps us to be less reactive which leads to our experiences being richer and more interesting.

Write a list of at least one thing a day that you have learned.

Connect with people – We live in times where we are more connected via technology instead of in person. Don’t get me wrong, that is wonderful, we need to appreciate it and as well we need to learn how to balance it.

One of the easiest things to start practicing is to look into people’s eyes. Eyes are the window to the world, let’s open it and use to see and recognise more about one another. The world is full of fantastic people, let’s focus on one of them. Too often we hear about the ones who are not loving this life and investing their energy into destroying it. This can be motivation to look for, and focus on, more human goodness from now on. If you want to take it to another level, give people a smile as well. A smile melts every darkness and brings light to your life and to the lives of the people you smile at.

Learn to appreciate who you are – you are here for a reason, start looking for these reasons.The more worthy you feel, the more beauty you see in this world, the less you will use your ED behaviour.

I could go on about this topic for much longer, but I like short blogs, so I will expand more in the future on these topics.

We would love that some of you who are reading this blog will share with us what helped you to love life.

We invite you to join us in this exploration and email your reflections to

Together we can discover how to bring more freedom to one another and learn how to fall in love with life. 


Thank you for reading,