Written by N
As I sit here and think….
I am deciding what topic to write about tonight when I remember a little poem I wrote last week! And I thought maybe I would share it here just for a change so I hope you all enjoy it!!
I’ll tell you a story of what happened to me,
As I walked with Marie by the beach and the sea!
As I was moving along I wasn’t sure what she said,
But then slowly her words entered into my head!!
“Shoulders back”, she said. “Walk tall, walk free!
Don’t be spending your time looking down at your knee!
Chin up to the sky, walk proud, walk tall!
Sure why would you want to look down at all?!”
“Put your shoulders back, raise your eyes up high.
Sure you might as well do it, just give it a try!
Chest out, shake those hips and be proud to be you!!!
Don’t be wasting your time looking down at your shoe!”
I thought she was joking and I then wondered why,
This lady beside me was obsessed with the sky!
But I suppose I was interested and thought “Sure why not?”
Maybe I would try it, I’d give it a shot!
So just at that moment I did what she said,
And slowly but surely I lifted my head!
And at first it felt strange as I looked towards the sky,
But I soon could see her reasoning why!!
I suddenly noticed the sky was blue,
I noticed the birds and the trees up there too!
I saw all around me, saw the people walk by,
And I thought to myself, “I’m glad I gave this a try!”
The world seemed so big and so beautiful too,
There were clouds, plants and flowers to name but a few!
It was wonderful and magical and I sure felt alive!
In fact I thought I might even break into a jive!
The colours were vivid, I was blinded you see,
As I had spent so much time looking down at my knee!
The wind on my face and the sun on my nose,
Why had I spent all that time looking down at my toes??!
I could see what surrounded me, a wonderful place,
And I could notice a smile had grown on my face!
I stood even taller and lifted my chin,
And felt some fears melting somewhere within!
So now I have learned a new skill I can use,
I can look to the sky whenever I choose!
And put back my shoulders for the whole world to see,
And show all the people I am proud to be me!!
Now with this being one of my first attempts at writing a poem I was a bit reluctant to type it up and even more reluctant to actually share it here but I suppose the reason I did share it is because I really have found this new tool of putting back my shoulders and raising my eyes and my head has actually been helping me so much recently! So I think after posting my little poem here I will also share with you all the things I have noticed happening and how looking up has benefitted me so much!
Right, I think I’ll begin by telling you about the first time it was pointed out to me I that I was looking down all the time and that my posture could do with a bit of “work”! It was a little while ago now! I was baffled by this observation and I came away thinking that she (ie. Marie!!) must be mistaken! Yeah, sure I could probably do with sitting up a bit straighter in the chair and I could probably benefit from a bit of yoga or pilates or something to help with my posture! But I really thought that she had it wrong! Me looking down at the ground all day?? Never!!!! I also remember passing on this observation to one of my friends! Well what I actually said to her at the time was, “What is that all about?! I don’t spend my days looking at the ground? Does that sound like me? What is she even talking about?!” But it was funny because after it was pointed out to me I actually began to realise that indeed I was hunched over and looking down a lot! And I had to admit that Marie was correct (as she usually tends to be!!) and that I did spend much of my time hunched over with my eyes down cast! I had been doing my best to rectify this since but it was not really until last week when I was being reminded again (quite frequently!!) to look up and put my shoulders back that I actually began to notice how this simple thing can lighten my mood and really help me to feel so much better!! So now I will share all of the things that seemed to happen when I decided to follow Marie’s advice and walk a little straighter and a little taller!
So let me see where do I start???
Ok so when I began straightening my back and raising my head it actually felt very strange!! Like really weird!!! I felt so awkward and not one bit comfortable at all! I could feel my back cracking and was sure I must be doing permanent damage to myself and was thinking I would need to see a physio or a chiropractor if I continued to do it! It was all being done very consciously and it just wasn’t me!!! So as a result my body seemed to go back to its original, hunched over form before long!!! I am happy to report that I continued on regardless (with a little prompting) I ignored the voice in my head that maybe mocked me or tried to tell me that it wouldn’t or didn’t help!! That told me I didn’t need to do it or told me that I was fine the way I was! The voice that told me I needed to look down as it was maybe safer or easier or more familiar! I am so glad I did ignore that voice, as the more I straightened up and looked up the easier it became and I suppose the more I put my shoulders back and raised my gaze, the less I listened to that mocking voice in my head! The less control it had and it got quieter and seems to have faded away now! I can also thankfully report that the cracking in my back has also reduced significantly and I think I can hold off on making that physio appointment for now!!! So now I want to tell you about all the wonderful things I have noticed when I walk with my new upright posture!!!
Well the first thing is that, as a result of my straighter back, I have actually become obsessed with looking at the sky! Like really obsessed! I look at it all the time and just think how amazing the colours and clouds are up there! The clouds move slowly or quickly and change shapes all the time!! They seem to glide across the sky in front of my eyes!! They are fluffy or whispy or thick or sparse! Sometimes they cover the sun or the moon and sometimes the light tries to break through! And then it is even more amazing and interesting and beautiful to be looking up there!! Or I notice that the clouds might look like massive cotton wool balls or candy floss or snowballs! Oh and the colours I see….! Just amazing!! I have noticed that the sky can be not only blue but purple or grey or white or black or navy!! I see orange and brown and red!! It can be so many colours all at once! Who would have thought it?!!! Certainly not me anyway! I was too busy looking at the ground for so long! I have even found myself looking at the sky as the rain is falling! And the way the rain drops shimmer and sparkle is just so magical!
I have also noticed that sometimes there are birds flying around up there! Swooping and gliding and having a great time! Large birds and smaller birds! Birds flying solo or in a flock!! I have noticed the top of the trees and how they are different shapes and sizes! How some have leaves and some don’t! How they move in the breeze and bend this way and that! All sorts of crazy stuff has been happening up there and it may sound a bit mad but I hadn’t a clue! Hadn’t even noticed any of it as, for such a long time, I was practicing looking down at my feet!!
Now I have also noticed how when I allow myself to look up and stand tall I instantly feel lighter and more optimistic about things! When I look up not only does the world get brighter on the outside but I feel brighter too! And it really is such a wonderful feeling! I love it! It is like an instant pick me up and I think that is why I have become so obsessed! All I have to do is look upwards and in a split second I feel freer and less trapped and less pessimistic about myself or my situation or my life!
Now I have noticed a whole load of other things too that I could tell you about, such as how I could do with cleaning the cobwebs off the roof in my sitting room! Or how there are spiders crawling just above my head when I stand outside in my usual smoking spot! (That I hadn’t even seen before!!!) I have noticed how there is less tension in my neck and in my back! I have noticed so many things that I had not noticed before! I have noticed so much more than I have ever noticed before by simple raising my head towards the sky above me!
So now as I sit here and think….
I am feeling happy that I wrote my little poem as I think it may have sparked a deeper interest or curiosity in this new tool I learned! I had written the poem in my journal and when I read it back it reminded me what I could do! It reminded me to straighten my back, to lift my chin and to raise my eyes! I think that maybe it would have been easy to come back home and forget to look up and to stand tall! (When there was no Marie to remind me every day!!) It is far colder and maybe less brighter than it was when I was away last week but I suppose I have discovered that regardless of the conditions it is always a tool I can use to give me an instant pick me up! I have realised that even the sky in Dublin in November can me amazing and fabulous too!
I am so happy to have realised the sky existed and I am so happy that it is so wonderful and amazing! I am so happy that when I walk tall I feel more confident and steady! But the most exciting thing about it all is that maybe, just maybe I am starting to feel more worthy and proud to be me!