“Ladies and Gentlemen, All Aboard the Recovery Yacht”
So the last couple of weeks an analogy has been knocking around my head in relation to the feeling of Vulnerability and “Being in Limbo” in Recovery. When we are in Recovery we often come to a stage where we feel a bit in between, don’t know whether we are coming or going aka everything just feels a bit up in the air which can be scary as we are in a situation choosing to give up control and trusting others. I think a risk is involved and as I went through all these descriptions in my head I think I have found a way to make sense of it all, so here we go:
Picture the scene, you are in the middle of ocean waters, whatever the reason something has happened and all you have to hold on to and survive is a tiny little wooden raft, we feel the choppiness of the water a lot more on this, and the raft is getting smaller and smaller as time goes on, but we feel we need to hang onto it, the raft has gotten us this far, it has been there for us for everything and has kept us “safe”.
Wait, what is that?
You see a big beautiful yacht calmly coming towards you and your raft, people on board seem to be having a wonderful time, they don’t feel all the choppy waves as they are on a sturdy boat that allows them to enjoy the waters and all its beauty. They can see our raft breaking down piece by piece and are offering us help, holding their hand out for us to grab onto and to join them on board this wonderful yacht (maybe they are just jealous of our raft, this is what our raft will try tell us).
We have a choice here; stay loyal to our raft that we need to accept is breaking down and isn’t actually keeping us “safe” from anything, just bringing us to more danger. Everyone seems to be telling us how wonderful it is on this yacht, hard for us to connect with at the moment, but maybe we should take their word for it as for now as the alternative is just to go down with the raft. To get on board we have to hold our hand out to reach out for theirs, we have to risk being in between raft and yacht which is very scary, what if we end up without either and just go into the deep waters, you often see in the movies the scene of someone struggling but for some reason they are hesitating to reach out for the hand that is offered to them, almost shouting at the screen ” JUST TAKE HIS HAND!” but I think many of us can relate to the hesitation here : Paralysed by fear that we will just end up drowning in deeps waters… no yacht and especially no raft. This is not the reality, we must trust the hand, trust it is there to help, trust it is going nowhere and trust it has the strength not to let go.
What do you think we should do?
For me the Raft = Recovery, Yacht = Carers, People on Board Yacht = Carers, Making the transition from Raft to Yacht = Vulnerability/Feeling of being in Limbo and of course the Waters = Life.
We deserve to be able to enjoy the waters and not have to only think about survival and struggle on this raft that in reality, is just hanging onto us. Without it we can become much more and create much more.
You may jump on board and feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but this is ok, this is being real and we need to trust that we will be welcomed and well accommodated by all those on board.
They reached out therefore want us to be with us. They will not suddenly turn their backs now we are onboard. They want to get to know us and we will want to get to know them”