Written by Kassandra
The human body, at peace with itself, Is more precious than the rarest gem.
Cherish your body – it is yours this time only.
The human form is won with difficulty, It is easy to lose.
All worldly things are brief, Like lightning in the sky;
This life you must know, As the tiny splash of a raindrop;
A thing of beauty that disappears, Even as it comes into being.
Therefore set your goal; Make use of every day and night To achieve it
“Tsongkhapa”
This is a quote that I really love, I’ve been reflecting on it recently. When I started my recovery journey my body was not at peace with itself. I had a lot of misplaced hatred towards it, even feeling it had betrayed me. Coming to a sense of peace with my body has been a big part of my recovery journey over the years. I feel I’ve made a lot of progress in this area, particularly recently as I’ve been supporting my body recovering from some major surgery.
Going through the surgery has been a great opportunity in really connecting with and listening to my body. There can be a lot of pain at times, which I’ve been trying to respond to with kindness and reassurance. And there have also been a lot of very pleasant experiences, tied in with happy emotions and a sense of contentment that is just wonderful. I guess I’m so grateful to my lovely petal (a term of endearment I’ve started using for my wonderful body), in this time. It really is incredible the bodies ability to heal and adapt to change, I’ve been amazed at all it can do and is doing for me. It’s also really lovely how connected I’ve felt and a sense of being on my own side through this experience, really trying to listen and give my body what it needs to become strong and healthy again.
Not that it’s been smooth sailing all of the time of course. I don’t always get it perfect, sometimes I push things a little too hard but at least I can notice it, apologize to my body (I’m pretty sure it forgives me), and we move forward together, as partners in this experience. I’ve had to work a lot with pacing myself, not pushing to get back to “normal life” (whatever that is) too quickly. I probably slightly naively underestimated the impact that having surgery would have on the body. It’s important for me to give it the time and patience that it needs, and kick any thoughts of comparisons with how “other people would heal faster” out the window like the nasty germs they are!
The experience has also made me appreciate my general good health and wellness. As I start to be able to do things again, like go for short walks or even doing the dishes :), it is making me realise what a gift it is being able to do these things for oneself. Though is something to be said as well for being waited on by staff (i.e. my parents) in moderation. I’m really proud of myself for going through this healing process with a sense of love and respect towards myself and my petal. It’s also taught me how loved and supported I am. I’ve been getting lots of cards, flowers, and lovely messages from friends, family and workmates. I really am lucky to have so many amazing people in my life.
So yes I’m delighted to say that I am really starting to feel that sense of being at peace in my body now, to realise it for the precious gift and a thing of beauty that it is, and look forward to sharing this with the world slowly and gradually as I get back to life.
Kassandra
