Often I am asked a question: “How can I help?”
The best way of helping someone is to learn to understand their condition. ED is extremely complex and it takes a time to fully understand what is happening. Sometimes people do not know where to start. I listed some questions, which could help to learn, which areas need to be addressed:
- Do you believe full Recovery from eating distress is possible?
- Do you know the difference between Eating Distress and Eating Disorder?
- Do you know how long it takes for person to recover?
- Are you prepared to give your loved one the time and freedom to recover?
- Do you have the patience to give to your loved one’s recovery?
- Are you able to transform your worry about your loved one into belief in them?
- Do you accept that recovery brings about a lot of changes?
- Do you show your loved one physical affection even if they do not deserve it?
- Do you show your loved one emotional affection even if they do not deserve it?
- Do you compliment your loved one about the person that they are?
- Do you see a lot of goodness and talents in your loved one?
- Are you able to have friendly conversations about the small things in life with the sufferer?
- Do you accept your loved one for who they are and not what you want from them?
- Do you address your fears and observations in a loving and non-judgemental manner?
- Did you throw your own guilt out the window?
- Are you able to pay special and individual attention to people apart from the sufferer?
- When your loved one talks, are you able to listen?
- Do you take care of yourself so that you are able to take care of others?
- When there is a conflict are you able to focus on the role you play?
- Are you able to give up comparing your loved one to others?
- Do you often feel like you are walking on egg-shells?
- Is recovery about ‘getting the old person back’?
- Does your happiness depend on your loved one’s recovery?
- Did your life stop when you learned about your loved one’s ED?
- Do you blame your loved one for your own anxiety and insecurities?
- Are you trying to find rational answers to the irrational condition?
- Are you trying to find a single cause and cure for the condition?
- Do you allow your loved one to dominate the functioning of your life?
- Are you becoming your sufferers’ therapist?
If some of these areas are confusing for you, you can join our Saturday’s Recovery classes or contact us via email or phone.
We all are here to learn from one another.