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Choosing Gentleness

By December 6, 2021June 22nd, 2022No Comments




Written by Nicky

I realised something last week that I hadn’t really noticed before!  I realised that, although my inner voice is far less harsh and negative and judgemental than it used to be, there are still times when I forget to be kind and gentle towards myself!

When I am feeling connected and balanced and free it is then that I choose gentleness!

But when I am feeling overwhelmed with strong or unpleasant emotions or am finding something challenging, I tend to choose the opposite!  In those moments, my self-talk is often harsh and unkind!  I become impatient with myself!  I get angry with myself!  And I certainly don’t show myself much compassion or love!

These days, life for me is generally much easier and balanced!  I experience so much more peace and calm each and every day!  So I suppose it has been a lot easier for me to choose gentleness but last week there were a few challenges for me to face!  More challenges than I have chosen to face in a long time!  And with these challenges came the strong emotions!  The fear and the frustration!  And, I noticed then, that the self-talk had taken a turn for the worse!  I noticed the gentle words did not come so easily!  I noticed the harshness came instead!

So I wrote this little simple poem to help me to remember what to do the next time I am feeling overwhelmed with heavy thoughts or unpleasant emotions…



When the thoughts are feeling heavy, and you don’t know what to do!

Just stop and breathe and find some gentle words to say to you!

Like, “I am great!” and “I am safe!” and “I am doing fine!”

And “I deserve to feel the peace!” and “The freedom can be mine!”.


And don’t forget to tell yourself, “ The fear is rarely real!”

And remind yourself, you have a choice, about the way you feel!

Tell yourself how far you have come, and that all will be ok!

And that it’s time to stop the hate, and find some gentle words to say!


Lay a gentle hand upon your heart and feel it’s gentle beat!

And tell yourself you are calm right now, from your head down to your feet!

And bring the love and let it flow, there is no need to fight,

Just keep on thinking gentle thoughts until you see the light!


And remind yourself, “This too shall pass, like it always has before!”

Put your shoulders back and lift your head and stop looking at the floor!

And choose to think some loving thoughts and let them fill your head!

And before you even know it, there will be lightness there instead!


When you feel the fear is coming in, gentle words are all you need,

The loving words and kindful thoughts will help you to succeed!

And remind yourself it might feel hard to take back all your power,

But know each time you choose the gentleness it leads you to your Freedom Hour!


On my Recovery Journey, I have learned so much about the importance of monitoring my self-talk!  I have experienced the power of self-support and self-love and self-compassion!  I have witnessed the healing that comes from changing my inner dialogue!! So, needless to say, I was a bit surprised when I realised that I was choosing the harshness instead of the gentleness!  Especially during challenging situations!  Sure isn’t that the time when being gentle on myself is the most important choice to be making?!!

But as I sit here now I am so glad that I noticed the lack of gentleness in my self-talk last week!  And I am really happy that I noticed the harshness of my words, as I suppose now, I can practice bringing the gentleness in when the overwhelm hits instead!

And I am also glad I wrote my little poem too!

As I’ll read it often!

And it will serve as a reminder that…

I deserve to be gentle on myself regardless of what I am experiencing in that moment! Regardless of what challenge I am facing!

And I’ll remember that..

Gentleness has the power to calm the fear within me!!

And also that…

It is in the kindness and in choosing to be gentle on myself always..

Is the choice that will help me to be free!