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Alone In The Kitchen

By November 10, 2020June 23rd, 2022No Comments






Written by ‘N’



Alone In The Kitchen

I stand there alone, in the kitchen.

It is time to eat.

I stand in the usual spot and begin the usual routine.

The same routine I have known for such a long time.

All is ready.

Everything is exactly where it should be.

Everything is as exactly as it should be.

I begin.

I begin doing the same thing I always do, at the same time, in the same place, in the same order, in the same way.

But this time something different happens…….

I stop for a moment.

I notice the thoughts.

I listen.


An internal conversation begins…..


A voice says…

You don’t need to do this!”

“I know I don’t!”,I reply.


It doesn’t make sense!”

“I know”, is my answer.


What is the point?!”

“I don’t think there is a point anymore!”


Is it really necessary?”

“No.  I suppose not!”


Is this what you really want?”


I hesitate and answer….


No I don’t think it is anymore!”


I notice something else then.

I notice a strong feeling inside.

It feels like I have a choice.

It feels like there is an opportunity.

It feels like I could just choose to do it a different way.

I take a deep breath.

I am torn.

Which choice will I make?

Which way will I go?

I am confused.

I am not sure what to do.




I take myself out of my head.

I am again alone, in the kitchen.

Standing in the usual spot.

I look at the familiar scene in front of me.

Everything is still exactly where it should be.

Everything is still exactly as it should be.

I am still confused.

Something so familiar seems so strange to me now.

It seems so pointless!

I know I don’t want this!

I know it doesn’t serve me anymore!

I know it is unnecessary!

I know I deserve more!

I know what I want now!

And I know it is not this!





I carry on with the familiar ritual anyway…..!


And now as I sit here…..

I feel sad.

I feel angry.

And I feel defeated.

I feel like I made the wrong decision.

I feel like I let a big opportunity pass me by.

I notice these feelings.

I know they are unhelpful.

I know I don’t want to feel this way!


So instead……

I will choose to drop the judgement.

I will choose to have compassion.

I will choose to reassure myself.

I will choose to change the story in my head.

I will ask myself a question.

I will ask myself what I learned, earlier, as I stood alone in the kitchen!


And now I tell myself that……


One day..

I will be brave enough make a different choice.

I will be brave enough to take that opportunity.

I will be brave enough to do it a different way.


And that….

I will be brave enough to continue to do all these things again and again until….

The day that I am free!