There is no good in arguing with the wind. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your coat. (James Russell Lowell)
The curios paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change. (Carl Rogers)
The word accept is from Latin root meaning to receive or to take to oneself. This is the most basic need you have as a child to embrace or welcomed just the way you are.
The term self-acceptance can sometimes cause panic to those of us who suffer from an emotional distress (eating distress /eating disorder). We connect self-acceptance with a life misery, but in reality it is the first step towards making a real and lasting change.
Self-acceptance doesn’t close the door on change. On the contrary, it can open up our inner resources so that we can explore ourselves in a more relaxed way. It develops the capacity for good personal relationships. People with a high level of self-acceptance are likely to be less defensive and it is easier for them to tolerate others. Through acceptance we learn to treat ourselves the way we’ve always wished other would. We do not need to wait for others to accept us as we are. We can start living with ourselves in a new way, and this allows us to move ahead. Acceptance means that we acknowledge what our body looks like without berating ourselves. This acceptance is not stagnation; it is step to changing and living. We spend a lot of time and energy rejecting, hating, denying part or all of who we are. We need to put all that time and energy into accepting ourselves.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It means that we appreciate the fact that recovery takes time; it means coming to terms with the fact that there are some things, which we cannot change.
People who accept themselves are not over-critical of themselves or others; they are both compassionate and realistic. They look at themselves as they are and strive for a better understanding of what they want to change. We cannot remove a problem until we accept we have one. Acceptance helps us to move on instead of postponing and wanting the impossible. In recovery from eating distress/eating disorder, some days can be better than others can. In this process we learn to accept ourselves for what we are. When we suffer from an emotional distress we live a life of ‘if only…’. Most of the times the ‘if only…’ is a wish for a magical change, but prevents a realistic approach to change. The ‘if only’ syndrome automatically puts us down. Learning to accept ourselves and reality in which we find ourselves helps us to move onwards.
Acceptance is a very important part of happiness, contentment, health and growth.
If we accept, we flow with it, we allow life to do what it’s already doing. If we refuse to accept it, we usually feel pressure, pain, frustration, anxiety; we struggle with what is. Acceptance is not the same as liking or being happy about. It is simply seeing something the way it is. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean approving of some behaviour like abuse or addictions. When you are honestly confront and deal with that problem area and overcome them, you become more acceptable to yourself. With acceptance, we make the stand to be for, not against, ourselves.
Through non-acceptance we try to control the world. We want our ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’, and demands to rule the world round us. If we want to change something the first step is acceptance and move from there. This includes acceptance of ourselves. We are part of nature. In our consumer society, we have been taught that we are not really okay, we need one or more product, or one more thing before we can be happy with ourselves. This cause epidemic low self-esteem. It is time to accept and to change it …..
Try to keep sun from rising. Do everything you can to stop the rain. Struggle like mad to stop the darkness. Try to turn the Earth different way.
Good Luck on that.
M:)
