Eating Disorders such as Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge-Eating Disorder and Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified, as described in the psychiatric manual DSM IV, are just labels which concentrate mostly on the description of a person’s behaviour. The different types very often overlap and even the top experts agree that it is difficult to make a clear diagnosis. But all of these are only the symptoms of the condition known as Eating Distress (ED).

Eating Distress is a condition where the mind culminates all of the negative assumptions the person has about him or herself. The negative mind becomes more powerful than the positive mind and has much more influence on the person’s thinking, feelings and behaviour. This state of mind develops subconsciously and the person is not always aware that they are victims of this self-destructive condition. Often we read that sufferers have a low self-esteem. However, in reality, he or she has no sense of self at all. Therefore, this condition is extremely abusive and manifests itself with highly destructive symptoms in which an Eating Disorder is one.

Family

The term ‘family’ describes ‘a unique cluster of people who enjoy a special relationship by reason of love, marriage, procreation, and mutual dependence.’ The family plays a primary role in how we develop as a person and how we see ourselves in relation to other people. The family acts as a ‘mini -society’ with its own governing system, politics, economics, culture and beliefs. Our experiences with how we operate in this first structure influences how we operate out in the world because the family is vital to helping to develop belief systems and values. However, this does not mean that the family is responsible for all developmental problems that may emerge in a person’s life.

There are no Typical ED Families. The presence of an ED in a family does NOT mean that the family or its members are dysfunctional! Over the years, families have been studied and re-studied to determine the causes of ED. However, there is nothing conclusive to say that dysfunctional families breed ED. Many sufferers come from loving families without trauma or upset.

There is no perfect family, parent, sibling or environment. The only conclusive absolute that links sufferers is their sensitivity. The negativity of the sufferers’ condition is similar, yet the sufferers and their families and environments are all unique and individual. Work with the family is firstly educational. The key to successful recovery is improve their knowledge of the condition.

Many family members enter treatment with shame, guilt and fear. In the practitioner’s first session with the family, it is necessary to address the fears, shame and guilt. Fear of the ED, and shame and guilt for causing it all get in the way of helping to get rid of it!! Fear usually effects boundaries and rules. Parents are afraid to set rules and/or boundaries for fear that the sufferer will react poorly. Therefore, they become too flexible or too rigid.

The most important thing to impart on carers is to help them to let go of trying to change their loved one’s behaviour. The family member needs to come to terms with understanding that they have power only over their own behaviour. Not understanding this can set the family on a dangerous course. If we only concentrate on controlling the eating behaviour, the Eating Distress gets worse. Stressing that carers need to care for themselves just as much as they do for the sufferer is a difficult concept for most family members. And, when they understand in theory, it is often difficult to put into practice.