Written By Audrey
Sitting at my kitchen table on the 22nd of January 2023, I think of how far I’ve come.
A long way, through many twists and turns, over many hills and obstacles, through stormy and sunny days. Through all of those, I’m not sure I really believed I’d get here.
I did the work, I read, I journaled, I did all the recommended things, and still, I’m not sure I believed I’d get here.
Even though I was rooting for myself and wanting recovery, that voice was there still, reminding me that maybe I wouldn’t get there. That I wasn’t able, wasn’t good enough, wasn’t thin enough, pretty enough, deserving enough, sick enough, working hard enough.
The funny thing is, that all the time that I was doing the work, journaling, working on myself, practicing self-care and learning about myself and my body, what I didn’t realise was that I was growing, evolving to become my true self, and that the voice that fills my head with heaviness and darkness was actually there less, quieter.
Sometimes I still hear it, but now I don’t listen for very long. I imagine a mean girl on my shoulder and I “politely” 😉 tell her to go away.
She’s never around for too long anymore. I expect that she’ll continue to pop her head and voice into my present from time to time, but now I ignore her and tell her to go away.
I’ve more important things to do
Love Audrey xx