Written by Shanah
About a year ago, I went to group therapy at Marino for the first time and started the wonderful, beautiful, tiring, rewarding journey that is Recovery. I went back home to the United States in May but recovery remains on my mind and one lesson that has stuck with me is “what do you value?” I was making an Instagram post a few weeks ago because it had been a year since I went abroad. My post, a beautiful image of my friend next to a lake, turned into this drama about how I had a really tough semester because of my ED and after spending probably a half hour rewriting the caption to perfection, I realized I was still valuing hardship. I deleted it. I don’t want people to feel bad for me; I want them to rejoice with me and my progress.
So I’ve decided to write about what I’ve valued since recovery. I value late nights with friends filled with hilarious games, videos, and laughter that bursts out of you. I value mid-day naps because sometimes, you need it and sometimes, you just deserve it. I value talking to my parents often and saying I love you every time we get off the phone. I value showers where I’m not afraid to touch my tummy and I enjoy the self-care of cleaning myself. I value not “starting over” every time condition makes me feel bad, but knowing it’s all a part of Recovery. I value my new group of friends who are inclusive and sassy, funny and imperfect. I value “missing” work outs because I just don’t want to and I’m tired. I value only working out when I’m feeling empowered and strong from it and not from trying to work something off.
There a lot of things I’m working towards valuing as well: Such as my own loyalty as a friend, my tummy as much as any other girl’s tummy, my time, my creativity..
I hope we all continue to work on what we value 🙂 and I’m thinking of all of you and our sessions together 🙂
Love from the US,