“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me I love you.” Maya Angelou
Learning to trust, and to feel trustworthy, is a very important part of Recovery from ED. Trust affects everything we do. Trust must be nurtured and regularly reinforced. It is the connection between all of the different parts of Recovery. Acknowledging our vulnerability and courage gives us the opportunity to exercise our trust. Not trusting the recovery process, and constantly doubting suggestions given to us, is often our biggest obstacle. When we suffer from ED we often spend more time over analysing than trusting. Over analysing makes this process more complicated than it needs to be. To make this process easier, we need to learn to simplify and trust the process. Trust doesn’t come on it’s own, it needs to be chosen. The more we feel trustworthy ourselves, the easier it is for us to trust. Here are some qualities trustworthy people have:
- High value of integrity
- Being resourceful
- Compassionate and kind
- Humble, but firm
- Being authentic
- Available to others, but look after themselves
- Being determent
Which areas do you need to develop to feel more trustworthy?
To be able to trust to other people, we need to learn to trust ourselves and not the ED. On this journey, letting go of being a victim is a very important decision we need to take. Learning to trust might feel like a huge risk, not trusting can often feel like protection. As Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do.”
Here’s how to learn to trust again:
Be honest with yourself
Always tell the truth or the truth will tell on you
Be relaxed and a good listener
Do not use excuses like ‘Everybody does it …’
On what evidence I am not trusting?
How honest am I with myself?
What would be the benefits of trusting myself and the world?
Do not overcomplicate trust.
Trust is a simple decision which makes life much more easier to embrace Freedom.