Summer. Not always the easiest of times. . .
Keep reading for a few tips to make it easier
Summer is a time of the year that most people look forward to. When we are recovering from Eating Distress, this is a Summer time can often be overshadowed by our condition. Sometimes, we experience more fears, than things to look forward to.
We often over think how we look and what to wear. At this time, more people are talking about holidays. Many people with ED do not allow themselves to look forward to these things and fear steps in instead.Summer means a different routine, which ED can often use and Recovery ends up getting placed on the back burner.At this time people often are wearing less clothes, which can cause alot of anxiety for someone who is in Recovery – not to mention eating al fresco, which for free people if different and exciting, but for condition it can be petrifying.
And what about all the magazines? There are more diets and quick fixes being sold to us, in order to achieve that perfectly sculpted Summer and body. It is time now to use our awareness and not believe everything we see or read. It is important to value your opinion and be very selective with what information you like, not what the condition likes.
We can list many more things that are challenging, but the truth is, all of this can be diverted and transferred to our advantage when recovering.
Making Recovery your number one value can make your Summer more productive. Instead of dreading it, you can remind yourself that you have the right to look forward to it. As we learn in many of our Recovery classes, you are the Master of your thoughts. You own the decision, not your condition.So, lets make the decision that it it will be a great Summer. Summer 2017 will be a Recovery Summer 🙂
Relationship WorkshopSunday 28th May 2017 10am-4pm
When we are suffering from an Eating Distress it can have quite a destructive effect on our relationships, both with ourselves and others. This workshop will provide skills on how to repair,reconnect and enjoy constructive relationships. We will also be learning how to identify and protect ourselves from destructive relationships, and as a result, enhance our quality of life. As well we will learn how to improve your communication and learn how to engage in a positive way. You will learn how to heal your relationship with food, your body, yourself and the people around you. Limited places available
Fellow Freedom Fighter, “Happy Days”, describes her Recovery experiences from her Intensive programme in Lanzarote:
The Road to Freedom in Lanzarote Written Happy Days
I am sitting here in the airport looking out at the sea, sun and palm trees, feeling a little sad that my adventures are over. But really they’re not really over. They’re only just beginning. Because I am coming home with a case full of wonderful memories and fantastic learnings. I now want to bring Lanzarote home and apply all of those learnings and free moments at home. However, I also want to be gentle with myself and give myself time to apply all my learnings. I look up and see a palm tree. I am reminded of a learning: every time you see a palm tree, say 3 nice things about yourself. At home I think I’ll substitute palm trees for a different kind of tree! When I look at the sun, it is impossible to think negative thoughts about myself and my body. Even though the sun sometimes goes behind the clouds, it doesn’t mean it isn’t still there. I am working hard to get many sunny moments for me. Some of my learnings that are coming to mind are as follows: Read more of what Happy Days learned from the Lanzarote Intesive here
Our next Intensive programe in Puerto del Carmen is from 26th October to 15th November 2017
It may sound funny and hard to believe for people who have never suffered from an Eating Distress, but holiday time can be challenging when you are trying to Recover. Everybody needs to have some breaks, but when we suffer from ED we need to plan our holidays more carefully. Long breaks can have a negative effect on your Recovery. The more structure in life the faster a person can recover. The earlier the stage you are at, the more suitable breaks away are those that are short.
It is very important for people who travel with you not to have high expectations. Many parents or partners find it hard to understand that the ED is traveling with us as well, we would like to have a great time, but sometimes it is more challenging. The more patient the supporter is the more you can benefit from the holiday.
Some Tips which could be helpful to remember this Summer:
Before you set off, write a list of what way you want to think on your holiday, what way you want to feel & what you want to experience. Then close your eyes and visualise it
Forget therapy, but do not forget what you learned about Recovery, keep practicing
Take the time to reflect on your learnings every day
Remember, your duty on holiday is to be good to yourself and to have fun
Do not pack your negativity into your suitcase, it could be too heavy
Instead of worrying about how many calories you eat, think about how you can enjoy yourself more
Share yourself with people and you will notice just how liked you actually are
Write down your nice moments
Use your senses; what can I hear, what can I see, what can I feel, what can I taste, what can I smell. Immerse yourself in the present moment.
Take lots of photos, be the paparazzi of beauty
Instead of being absorbed in your condition and negativity, try to get absorbed in the culture and different lifestyles around you
Do not starve – you are only shrinking your enjoyment and your self-esteem
Drink more water than alcohol, you will feel better the next day
Be willing to feel happy and others will be happy too
On Being Honest and Authentic
Very frank, honest and thought provoking post reflecting on one Freedom Fighter, Jane’s recovery experience and how you can speed it up :“This is a piece that I have wanted to write for quite some time. My journey at Marino started around a year and a half ago and I consider myself within the realms of recovery now. How have I achieved so much so quickly? Are you already clicking out of this post in frustration that you’ve unwittingly started reading a smug person’s account about how wonderful recovery is? How life’s troubles magically melt away with recovery? Right? Wrong! I’m not smug and this post definitely doesn’t purport to give advice or false illusions about recovery. What I do want to share, however, is that I truly believe that being honest, appreciative and grateful in recovery are essential. Authenticity and humility have helped me immensely.”
Dropping the “If Only’s” & The Value of Recovery Written by Freedom Fighter ShanahI was looking in the mirror after a shower today and I experienced a typical thought: “If I just lost a few pounds in my thighs..” which I quickly brushed off before looking at my body at various angles and taking this thought seriously.But then I did think about it and it occurred to me that I use the phrase “If I just” to proceed a number of conditional statements about my self-worth and happiness.”If I just have a girlfriend, I will be happier.” “If I just had slimmer legs, I would feel better.” “If I just, if I just, if I just.”If I just is a condition on your happiness. Your condition wants you to believe that “if I just” whatever the ridiculous rule is, you’ll be okay. But this is wrong. Condition won’t be satisfied if you lose 5 pounds or get into a relationship. Condition doesn’t want you to know that you actually can be happy without any of these conditionals because if you did, you wouldn’t have condition anymore.
Well you know what, condition?
I can be happy without a girlfriend.
I can be happy without slimmer legs.
I can be happy, no conditionals, no ifs or buts, I can be happy 🙂
Value of Recovery
About a year ago, I went to group therapy at Marino for the first time and started the wonderful, beautiful, tiring, rewarding journey that is recovery. I went back home to the United States in May but recovery remains on my mind and one lesson that has stuck with me is “what do you value?” I was making an Instagram post a few weeks ago because it had been a year since I went abroad. My post, a beautiful image of my friend next to a lake, turned into this drama about how I had a really tough semester because of my ED and after spending probably a half hour rewriting the caption to perfection, I realized I was still valuing hardship. I deleted it. I don’t want people to feel bad for me; I want them to rejoice with me and my progress.
I’m sorry, a poem to my Body Written by Busy BeeI’m sorry I didn’t listen,
when you called out to me.
I’m sorry I ignored you,
when you begged please feed me.I’m sorry I closed my eyes
to the signs you needed care,
like the loss of my curly locks,
Oh I had such lovely hair!I’m sorry I didn’t listen,
when it was obvious you were in pain.
I pushed you up the hill again,
through the sleet, snow and rain.I’m sorry I ignored the fact,
that you needed fuel.
I kept you running on empty
as I couldn’t break a rule.
I’m sorry I closed my eyes,
to all the things you do.
You keep my heart beating,
despite how I’ve treated you.
I’m sorry I ignored the fact,
that together we are one.
That I am you and you are me,
even at times when it’s not fun!
I’m sorry I didn’t love you.
I’m sorry I hated you so.
I’m sorry that I blamed you.
I’m sorry I didn’t let go.
I’m grateful for my body
and all that it can do.
I want to get over this,
I really want to pull through.
I understand that this is my body,
I understand it’s my only one.
I understand what I now owe my body, what I owe myself….. A great big slice of Freedom.