Written by Starlight
I remember days of crippling fear over any emotion I had. If I felt happy I would feel uneasy and scared that it wouldn’t last leading to sadness and anxiousness and if I felt down, angry or sad I would feel such despair for the fear I would feel like this forever! Not knowing how to deal with feelings after numbing them out for so long led to states of being overwhelmed and leaning on behaviours to block out this wave of emotions and realness. I felt as if something was wrong with me and I punished myself for it and didn’t know nor want to cope with these feelings.
It hit me the other night just how far I’ve actually come. Last week was a bit challenging and being the sensitive soul I am I felt it really deeply, I cried, I felt hurt, pain and anger and let it all out. I expressed what was upsetting me. Called a friend to ask for advice, leaned on my people who I know are always there for me and wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable.
Now this week I feel great, I had the best Monday I’ve had for a while. Got a nice cup of coffee, got college work done, chatted to friends and watched funny you tube videos.
The point of me sharing this is to show feelings and emotions which you feel right now don’t last forever. By numbing and preventing yourself from feeling you’re really preventing yourself from being human and life. By recognising and acknowledge exactly what you’re feeling rather than just saying I feel ‘bad’, ‘fat’, ‘ugly’ when challenging times arise it helps you in the long run as you can identify what is actually bothering you and take ACTION to fix it!
What I did to help myself last week was doing things I like and serve me : Painting my nails, watched a film, connection, you tube videos, calling a friend and asking for help, lighting candles and writing a list of things I’m looking forward to.
So to summarise my learnings: Emotions and feelings are signals, you are human so allow yourself to feel them! Nothing is wrong you are totally safe and everything will be fine 🙂