Written by Freedom Fighter
Group on Tuesday was about Trust and letting go. The question was asked, Do you trust yourself? I thought, yeah sure, got that one covered. But……..then I thought about it a bit more and I realised something. There’s how I want to be and then there’s how I am. The difference between and illusion and the truth. And the truth is I do trust myself now more than I ever did, but it still has aways to go yet. Like trusting my intuition and not allowing my head to argue me out of something. Trusting that given enough time I can figure anything out. I know this, but yet when confronted with some new challenge there’s a part of me that wants to run away and hide. To retreat back into my cave and stay still. Don’t grow, don’t face my fears. Stay safe. I saw a video on you tube about facing fear and Will Smith said that he’s afraid of being afraid. And that resonated with me big time. I absolutely hate that feeling that something is scaring me. And then I realised something else: That self-trust is the antidote for fear. That when you trust yourself your fear goes down and the only way to get to that point is to face your fear, and I think this is how trust is built. I don’t think its something that’s just given to you, its something you have to develop and the only way to develop is to step into the arena and get knocked about a bit. There’s this expression that I never really understood until now, that life never gives you what you want, it only gives you what you need. And I think this is how you are constructed as a person. That life will present you with challenges and fears and in order to get to the next level you have to face them. And the more you face the more you grown. And it’s not about getting something at the end of it all, it’s about who you become along the way.
So maybe trusting yourself can be seen as letting go of fear.
One other thing I realised lately was that sometimes you have to go to extremes to figure out where your balance is. Like someone mentioned over thinking and over analysing in group and sure enough this is something I’ve done in the past. But I got to a point where I noticed that over analysing got me no place, only tying myself in knots and imagining scenarios that didn’t even exist. Eventually it just stopped because it became too painful. But I heard another expression before and now it makes perfect sense. That the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Sometimes you have to go beyond a point before you are granted the wisdom to see the lesson in it all. It applies to minimalism too. I saw this video of these two guys who were millionaires who had it all. The fancy cars, boats, houses, clothes. But they were miserable. So they set up the minimalism website and proceeded to give their stuff away. They had to go to a point of material excess to see the life lesson and gain wisdom. I guess the lesson of that is to go easy on yourself if you over think or over analyse or if you take anything to the extreme. The lesson will come and with that the wisdom will come too.