‘Self-pity in it’s early stages is as snug as a feather matters. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.’ 

(Maya Angelou)

Self-pity is a state that we are not always aware that we are in, but we tend to rely on it far more than we realise. It is such a strong feature of our condition’s life that it is almost like some choking ivy wrapped around our troubles.

Yes, we use it very much as a cushion to ease the pain and keep reality at bay, but it ultimately becomes the enemy that is contributing a lot more pain rather than shielding us from it. Especially, if we do not know what to do next, or we feel so horribly empty inside self-pity presents itself as the ideal filling material.

During the early stages of our recovery especially during the denial stage, which precedes this we are constantly looking for approval or for praise. We never seem to be able to get enough and self-pity becomes the temporary solution instead.

In recovery, when we are learning about our gifts and our abilities and the importance of asserting ourselves, we need to let go of this unhelpful emotion.

From now on each morning when you wake up, stop, and make a list of all the situations, occasions or matters when you felt sorry for yourself or you still do. Then challenge them and personally acknowledge your gifts and your abilities. Remind yourself of your worth without any analysing and soon you will notice that there is a very little room for worry and self-pity when all your energy is instead being redirected into your personal growth!

Affirmation: I am free of the burden of self-pity.

From Recovery Now