The Road To Freedom In Lanzarote


Written by Happy Days

I am sitting here in the airport looking out at the sea, sun and palm trees, feeling a little sad that my adventures are over.

But really they’re not really over. They’re only just beginning.

Because I am coming home with a case full of wonderful memories and fantastic learnings. I now want to bring Lanzarote home and apply all of those learnings and free moments at home. However, I also want to be gentle with myself and give myself time to apply all my learnings.

I look up and see a palm tree. I am reminded of a learning: every time you see a palm tree, say 3 nice things about yourself. At home I think I’ll substitute palm trees for a different kind of tree!

When I look at the sun, it is impossible to think negative thoughts about myself and my body. Even though the sun sometimes goes behind the clouds, it doesn’t mean it isn’t still there. I am working hard to get many sunny moments for me.

Some of my learnings that are coming to mind are as follows:

My fears are a creation of my imagination. I am imagining things happening that will never happen. They are fabricated and false. They come from the same place as my dreams. Why not focus on my dreams instead? Recovery is all about refocusing and redirecting my thoughts. I am the master of my thoughts and I am also the master of my fears.

Recovery means valuing myself and my body, and that means being fussy bout how I treat it and what I put into it. The more recovered I am, the more fussy I will be about what I put into my body.

When faced with food choices, as I was every day on holidays more so than in my normal surroundings, always check in and ask the body what it wants. Eat with my body, not my mind. Don’t be a dictator by not giving my body a choice. Visualise how the different foods will make me feel. Then make my choice, Full stop. Focus on taste and give myself time. My body wants and needs regular nutrition, and the more I eat, the more my body needs. When eating, visualise the molecules of the food being turned into energy for my brain, to make new skin cells, to renew my bones etc. When condition thoughts and drama starts in my head; STOP. Just stop. Breathe. Stop breathing for a second. Hold my nose. Feel my feet on the ground. Ground myself.

Regarding gauging fullness: give my stomach a voice and a choice. If my stomach could talk right now, what would it say?

If I choose to think about something a certain way, I can unchoose it.

Always think about how I will feel tomorrow. What can I choose that will give me a nice time now and a nice time tomorrow?

I have a PhD in scaring myself. But there is always a solution.

Food is fuel for my Treasure Box. It’s a necessity. Enjoying it is a bonus.

People’s ignorance is an opportunity to build my strength.

Having a relationship with myself is the most important thing. The more I invest in me, the better the relationship with somebody I will have. Because I will always have me to turn to.

Don’t judge my feelings. They are just telling me something.

Never have regrets. See everything as a learning. When I am older, I will not regret anything that happened or that I did in my life. I will see them all as colourful chapters in my interesting life. And they were all opportunities to learn. Everything happens for a reason.

When the negative, body-bashing thoughts come, instead of trying to change them to positive thoughts about my body, think about something else instead; the clouds, the sun, the palm trees, count the leaves on a tree out loud. I need to be so kind and gentle to myself when I am feeling down, that means I need extra doses of kindness. Kindness to my body and kindness to my mind. Reassure myself. Do it aloud. Say my name.

Trust myself and what I’m learning. Trust the process of recovery and trust my body and trust Marie, Jacqueline and Andrea. Why not just do exactly what they tell me? I am paying them for advice, why not take it and do exactly what they say? It will get me to freedom sooner.

Photos and anchors are an important part of recovery. Use photos as anchors; anchors to remember key messages, that I can do it, and to remember free moments. That free moments are possible and are within my grasp at any time. It’s just a matter of changing my thoughts. I can feel free in every moment.

I have learned so much and had a wonderful week. I’m a bit tearful now that it’s over. But I have to remember, it has only just begun.

By Happy Days

For more detail on our HET in Autumn 2017 click here