My Recovery Can’t Be Google

written by’Simply O’

Tired eyes from staring at my smartphone, 12 tabs open, tips, stories, signs of recovery… one frazzled brain jumps from one to the next trying to remember it all, read THE perfect bullet point that indicates the path to take. Something else outside of me to put my trust into. Chrome keeps telling me this site can’t be reached. Google cannot find it. 

Following this blog, that instagrammer, purchasing several inspiring recommended books on kindle, most if not all left unread, fitbit says 9,088 steps, get up. Move. Low battery warning.

The question asked, what should I do next? Mini goals, ideas, life after ed, do I really have an ED, fears in recovery, free resources, 6 steps to better x, y, z. This is my browzer history. Data usage exceeded. 

I know.

Doing everything else but unless I pick up that fork and bin those scales (scales belong to fish) then I will never know what recovery for ME is. What I will experience? Denial, acceptance, fear. My soul is yearning to move on. Crying because it is dying inside and wants to emerge with a new lease of life. But I haven’t heeded. Yet. Soon. It is coming from inside me. Not the machine.

Do you wish to close this tab? 

Click: Close.

File… Shut down… Ok.

The rest is left to me.  The real expert. 

Simply O