Written by Jane
This is a piece that I have wanted to write for quite some time. My journey at Marino started around a year and a half ago and I consider myself within the realms of recovery now. How have I achieved so much so quickly? Are you already clicking out of this post in frustration that you’ve unwittingly started reading a smug person’s account about how wonderful recovery is? How life’s troubles magically melt away with recovery? Right? Wrong!
I’m not smug and this post definitely doesn’t purport to give advice or false illusions about recovery. What I do want to share, however, is that I truly believe that being honest, appreciative and grateful in recovery are essential. Authenticity and humility have helped me immensely. Sometimes people don’t want to hear that they should appreciate their opportunity to attend Marino or feel gratitude for the chance to recover. This attitude is, unfortunately, limiting.
As Marie says, you can recover for someone else but as you begin to, you quickly realise that you own this opportunity and you can decide to take responsibility for it. Or not. I realised that attending Marino was my opportunity, my chance, my time and,ultimately, my choice. I made all the ‘sacrifices’ to recover. I saved the money, made the time, set the alarm clock and got on the bus. I was honest with myself, if I didn’t do this now, do it properly and appreciate my chance, where would I realistically end up?
I often see so many people at group who aren’t approaching recovery authentically and with gratitude. They rebel against their carers, family or partners who are flailing in desperation to help and support their loved one recover. This doesn’t make me mad. This makes me even more grateful. I did this for myself, for me and I appreciated everything I did and others did for me to get here. I didn’t want anyone to goad, push, entice, reward or bribe me towards recovery. Recovery was reward enough for me and full freedom is a gift I hope I will be prepared to humbly and gratefully receive soon.
What I really want you to realise reading this post is that you can feel sorry for yourself, resent others’ role in your journey, turn a blind eye to condition or fool others and yourself on this journey. Or…you can get real, take responsibility and feel lucky for getting an opportunity not everyone else gets. I’ve never regretted being honest on this journey even though it’s often been painful, embarrassing and difficult. I’ve never been ashamed to be humble, say thanks or ask for help either.
So…if post has a few home truths that have been difficult to read, tough! It’s real! Oh and thanks for reading! 🙂
Thank you so very much for this heartfelt honest post Jane. It resonated so much with me! I too have recovered after just over a year and a half of attending at Marino. You have written what I haven’t been able to fully acknowledge and I’m so very grateful you did. I also came to Marino by myself and for myself. From the start I committed myself to honesty and authenticity. I was, and still am, extremely grateful to be attending sessions, Carework and group.
Your post has opened my eyes fully to how I approached and worked towards my recovery. Thank you for helping me to see and value this 🙂