To judge is to form an opinion, but remember, opinions are not facts. When we are suffering from an Eating Distress we often suffer from chronic judgement. When it comes to this type of thinking, very few escape the wrath of condition. We may not want to believe it, but when we have conditioned thinking, we carry the burden of judgement with us everywhere we go. Not only do we judge ourselves, but we often judge others.
“I’m not good enough”
“They’re not good enough”
“I’m not talented enough”
“They’re not talented enough”
“I should have done better”
“They should have done better”
One of the biggest obstacle in the way of Recovery and Full Freedom is self- judgement. The more judgement, the more close minded we become. The intellectual snobbery of the condition takes over, and just like that, we become a “know it all”. Comparing is a close cousin of judgement. When comparing, are you trying to prove that they are better then you, or that you are better then them? When we are recovering we can find ourselves judging others as a result of an inferiority complex. The more you work on getting rid of judgement in your life, the more contentment and peace you will discover.
Do judge yourself/others for things that you/they have said or done in the past?
Do judge yourself/others for your/their behaviours?
Do you judge yourself or your loved one having ED?
Do you judge yourself for wanting to ask for help?
What do you value about judgement?
When recovering from Eating Distress we need to get out of our heads and into the real world. We all have a story, we all have a challenge and at the end of the day we are all here without a rule book just trying to do our best.
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”
Jiddu Krishnamurti (Philosopher)
Learning from the class from Muddled
What are you trying to achieve with judgement?
How much energy are you wasting arguing or trying to prove others wrong?
What is the point?!
What am I trying to get out of this?
What do I really need to do to become more open minded?
How will becoming more open minded enhance my recovery?
Do I judge people before I speak to them?
Change your statements to “I wonder…”. For example: I wonder why they are rushing? I wonder where they are going? I wonder where they got their clothes? I wonder what their lives are like?
Try to actively listen. You were given two ears and only one mouth for a reason. Be curious about other people’s lives.
Put people’s lives into the bigger picture, i.e. try not to focus on one aspect of their lives such as their exam results and ignore everything else about them.
Verbalise the word ‘acceptance’.
Try to get out of people’s heads.
Recapture and focus on what you have achieved yourself.