Written by Sweet Beat
I am preparing for an exam next week and of course condition is as willing as ever to comment on and predict my upcoming performance. One of the reoccurring thoughts that I brought to my sessions this week was “I am not creative enough’. However, there is irony in this statement as condition itself is full of creative garbage, therefore by letting go of condition will I not have more room for constructive creativity or even have more space to allow my mind to reach a potential condition has sabotaged?? If I was to verbalise the red thoughts that have acted as barriers to action and facilitated fear then it is clear to see the creative destruction. It is time to turn an episode of “Grand Interior Destruction” into a series of “Grand Interior Design”.
Over the last few days I have started to question why I listen to condition in times of stress? It is clear that condition has been a repetitive mechanism to “cope” (pay attention to the inverted commas!!). The key word here is repetition, what I choose to focus on will grow and become a way of life. So although it may feel strange or uncomfortable at first to practice self-care and allow the green thoughts to flourish, with repetition these thoughts will cement themselves and lay the foundations for freedom.
‘Doubts are the biggest traitors’ (William Shakespeare) is one of my favourite quotes in recovery. If you make room for doubts, they create complexity that impedes the process of recovery. Simplicity is a powerful tool, not to be underestimated. Doubts are a waste of time. They put a focus on the end result (in a not so positive way I may add) and diminish the enjoyment of the journey. However, do not fall into the trap of judging doubts or condition thoughts. Is it not lighter to instead be curious and confident in the knowledge you have built up through your recovery. Start with ‘I wonder…’ or ‘That’s interesting,…’ when a thought arises. Question what does not ring true to your values. Another thing I found helpful is to act now and think later. Don’t give doubts a chance to weather the brick you have built up. In truth, the ‘thinking later’ doesn’t even come into the equation, as you have just enjoyed the moment- no ruminative rubbish.
To recap: keep it simple, get curious and enjoy creating your life of Freedom.