Good Manners & Recovery

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use. Emily Post

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go. Margaret Walker

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners. Laurence Sterne 

Last week, me and my friend had a wonderful discussion about politeness. It is great that we discovered that when we are looking for it, we surprisingly can see it as well. Yes it is out there, we do need to be optimists and the more we can see it, the more we feel like to be polite.

Years ago young boys and girls learned good manners and proper etiquette in schools and at home as well. The main core of this teaching was showing respect to another person through verbal communication and behaviour.

In our rapidly expanding global economy we socialise more than ever before. There are big changes in the way we communicate with one another today. But slowly and surely proper manners are becoming old-fashioned. Society is openly encouraging people to be self-centered. Sometimes, even in therapy, the attitude that is encouraged is me, me, me… e.g. ‘I can say anything to anybody, but how dare anybody say anything to me…’This does not help in recovery, we can say anything, but can we handle the response?

If expressing respect to another person was the main focus in our conversation with people, our communication could become much easier. We are much too worried about what people think about us and how we can impress them, rather than how we can show respect to them.

Let’s start to put a lot of effort into good manners in our family, with our siblings, parents, our children or our partners. Let’s show respect to everyone we meet today, tomorrow or the day after. Let’s not be afraid to expect the same in return.

We cannot change the society but we can start to change our own approach, and remember, we all are members of this society. The more we show respect to one another, the nice place this planet will be. Practicing good manners can increase our self-esteem more that we ever thought possible, it can help us in recovery. The more we learn to respect ourselves, the easier it will be to respect others as well.

Thank you for reading it.