This is a topic I have been wanting to write about for quite some time now. I am going to keep it as simple as possible for the moment, as in my mind, I am only scratching the surface on the topic.
First things first, if you find you have a destructive relationship with alcohol at the moment. You are not alone. It has really come to the forefront for me at the moment just how much shame we carry in the area of alcohol and how we abuse it in condition. This is not unusual. I feel, for me, the fear or being named and shamed as an alcohol dependent person, reflected how little understanding I had about the topic. My mind was plagued with the shame that I was different, broken, unable, disordered, unstable, weird, a liability, a disappointment or weak. When we are in condition, we have a very destructive relationship with ourselves, this then is reflected in the relationships around us, be it people, nourishment, movement, or alcohol.
For me in my recovery, my relationship with alcohol was extremely destructive, I have said and done things to me, the people I love and my body, that in a haze of self destruction, and the search for numbness, I have no recollection of. I won’t go into too much detail, but I needed to look at this relationship and ask, is this working for me? Is this working for my body? I needed to break up with alcohol, reassess my needs and what works for me and my body and act accordingly. The fear and shame in this area just isn’t necessary, the more we remove the shame from our challenges the sooner we can conquer them.
It is important to believe that this relationship with alcohol can be healed. You are not alone on this one.