trust

Dealing with Trust Issues & Letting Go

‘’In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.’’

(Robert Frost)

Sometimes we can be overwhelmed by the feeling that it is everybody else’s fault that we are the way we feel we are. It is often all too easy to want to stay locked in this frame of mind because recovery means letting go of these emotions and making a serious change in our lives and the way we choose to think. Letting go of the pain of negativity and letting go of the knowledge that you have spent a long time in a very unhappy place is often very daunting and frightening and you don’t want anyone to forget what you have suffered. However it is only when you feel confident enough to let this feeling melt into the past that you will ultimately be free of your mental prison. Many situations or influences from our past can be turned to our advantage as well. To achieve this we need to cut our ties with our past and make a decision that we want to be independent human beings with high self-esteem.

Group – Letting go and Trust!

Written by Classmate

Group was about trust on Saturday and I really enjoyed this group and listening to what everyone had to say on the topic. It was quite a heavy group and some of us talked about lashing out and becoming aggressive at times and I don’t think there was one person in the group that couldn’t relate

Condition is evil. There are no other words for it, it is a poison that corrodes the brain with toxic thoughts and makes you think you are the worst thing to ever step foot on the earth.

Why do we as sufferers put so much trust into something so evil? Of course when you’re fighting such a monster you’re going to lash out. Unfortunately sometimes it is ourselves that we lash out at. Recovery is a battle, words we wish we could take back will be said, and you’ll do things and think back and wish you hadn’t. But at the end of the battle we’ll look back and think wow we never gave up and look at this freedom and lightness and knowledge we will have for the rest of our lives! No matter what stage you’re at in recovery we have to have hope and trust in the process and that this stage is only temporary and over that hill lies freedom and it will be achieve, because once you see it exists there is no other choice really!

To carers and sufferers that may be thinking oh god is it worth it? it is ‘trust’ me. At times I felt I would just rather die than go through with it, it was too much on my mam and my family too many fights and anger etc. etc. and I may not be fully free yet but oh my god to live and to recover is the biggest gift you can ever give yourself. You’re worth it!

So instead of trusting condition let’s put trust in our own hands and make decisions with our own best interest at heart!

We got a sheet with some great but also challenge/thinking questions!

  • What do you need to let go of?
  • What will you achieve by letting go of this?
  • How does not letting go affect your relationship with different people?
  • Trust what does it mean to you?
  • What are you risking my trusting people?
  • Who do you trust the most ?
  • How does it affect you when you don’t trust people?
  • Do you trust yourself?
  • Whats your definition of trust?

 

Here is a little summary of some of the wisdom shared.

  • Trust the process- the professionals giving us advice have been through it all before and are giving us information that has helped them and information they wish they had that would of speeded up the process for them
  • Trust ourselves – deep down we do know what is right and what’s wrong for us. Let go of what others think is right and wrong for you, at the end of the day your opinion is the only one that matters. If you don’t speak up for what you want you’ll end up being very unhappy and being a background character to your own life.
  • Let go of looking for reassurance from others, TRUST that your own brain can make decisions and they are the right decisions.
  • Trust our bodies. We are lifelong partners and lifelong partners don’t want to fight all the time, they want to look out for each other, have respect for each other. When we trust our bodies it looks out for us, gives us signals when it’s time to rest, have some fuel and when we’re sick it makes us better. It a brilliant partner when you think about it and compare it to some bad dates you’ve had in the past haha 🙂
  • Get excited about my own body and its strengths and capabilities and not compare to anyone else!
  • Let go of expectations, perfectionism, and ideals of how we think things should be. By focusing so much on how we think things ‘should’ go we keep ourselves stuck and closed off to life and things coming our way. Sometimes you just need to TRUST that the universe has a big plan for us and we just need to try the best we can and things will end up the way they’re supposed to be and often much better then we could have ever imagined.
  • Take pride in trusting yourself, it’s a rare thing to live life by your own terms. ‘To live is the rarest thing in the world’
  • Don’t go by the past, it’s gone and over with. You may have made decisions that were not right for you in the past but we’re human we make mistakes and that is how we learn. ‘ I can now make decisions for me that have my best interest at heart. ‘
  • Trust my brain and trust my memory – I will remember things and I will get all the work I need to do done!
  • It was funny because my definition and thoughts on the word changed by the end of group. And ever since I’ve been thinking about how trusting people can actually make my life easier!

Just some small examples are:

  1. Hopping on the bus in the morning- I trust the driver will get me where i need to go safe and sound, it makes my life easier so I don’t have to walk 2 hours into town.
  2. In group projects- don’t take on all the work myself, split it equally, trust other people can do as good a job and it will make my life easier because I’m not taking on unnecessary work.
  3. Recovery- Just trust what I’m being told and it will make it easier instead of me trying to find loopholes around everything and making the journey much longer than it needs to be!

Thanks to everyone who attended and everyone who was there in spirt 🙂

 

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