Books can provide us with knowledge and new perspectives on life. For these reasons, books can also be a helpful tool in Recovery from Eating Distress. Reading can re-enforce key elements of recovery and life and heighten our awareness. For this reason we thought it would be a good idea to share our reading libraries with one another.
“There is no friend as loyal as a book.” Ernest Hemingway
I would like to share something really positive that by continuing with recovery, I have accomplished – I can now read again! I know many of us with ED were/are book-lovers but that deeper in condition there is literally nothing else we can concentrate on other than dark thoughts and destructive behaviours. As a child I loved to read, I read anywhere, anytime and devoured any book put in front of me. I could let myself escape in the world of my imagination but then I also read adhering to condition rules without even realizing it – I had to be the best reader, read the most books, and no one could share my books because they would dog-ear a page or bend the spine or get crumbs stuck between pages (heaven forbid!!). But as time progressed and the condition became more profound and grueling, my ability to even choose a book, let alone read it, was gobbled up by the all-consuming ED. I ignored reading and used my imagination for other less helpful activities. Going in to a book shop was stressful because I didn’t know what the ‘right’ book to read was and I didn’t want to spend the money on a book I told myself I wouldn’t end up reading (great ability to read the future the condition has yeno).
Fast-forward a number of years working on recovery and I can now say that I’ve rekindled my love for reading! It was uncomfortable picking a book at first but a careworker simply asked; well what would you like to read about? Instead of focusing on a fancy author or the books that the people are reading, that question reminded me of the hundreds of different types of books available, and that figuring out what the real me likes, I could pick book genres. To reduce the pressure of buying something, I went to my local library and spent a while looking. Now I even have favourite libraries and know which ones are better for different things and spend a lot of time looking around! There’s something so enjoyable about libraries! And you can take home 7 books if you want and figure out which one you like, all for free! (There’s also a great range of DVDs to take out free for fellow movie-lovers).
Oh and if it’s a challenge to take time to read, what I started with was by reading on the bus or train to make it a bit easier. Anyway my point is, if you find reading challenging at the moment, don’t use it as another reason to give out to yourself. It is another ED tactic but it is another challenge that can be overcome. At the moment it’s helping me tackle another area of busy-ness by taking the time out to read and slow my brain down.
One of the books I read recently was called the Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I tried to read it before and gave up on it a few chapters through because I found it too slow-moving. But I really suggest giving it a chance to the end because the last few chapters really bring it all together.
It’s about a 15 year old boy who just started high school and how he makes sense of his world. He keeps telling himself that there’s something wrong with himself because he sees things and interprets things differently to everyone else. I kind of related to him because of his super-sensitivity. Someone describes him as being a ‘wallflower’, and elaborates by saying it’s because he sees the world and what;s going on in it and absorbs things without doing much about it. I relate to that because for so long I observed life, I watched as things happened to people and allowed the world to happen to me. The recurring theme in the book is that of participation.
Someone says to him that although his kindness is admirable, his love for people is misguided. He believes that to love someone, one must do anything for them and succumb to their wishes, accepting anything that makes that person happy even at the cost of one’s own happiness. Like with the world, he observed his friends and allowed them happen to him… By that I mean he let them do whatever they thought was best for him without him sharing his opinion. She says ‘you can’t just sit there and put everyone else’s life ahead of yours and think that counts as love’ which i found really interesting. It made the point that relationships don’t work unless those involved love themselves enough to love the other person. I’ve heard that phrase many times before but didn’t really understand it, but now I do kinda. So by him not loving himself, he allowed the people he loved to walk all over him. But in doing so, he wasn’t truly loving the other person either because it didn’t benefit the other person. To love another, one must also be able to be honest and put the other person straight. He was always there but he wasn’t always fully present (which I also related to) because he was over-thinking everything so much in his head.
Another point made in the book is about vicious cycles i.e. passing things on to others and their choice to engage with it or not. He makes the point that we all have a choice, so for example if my parent has a destructive behaviour I have two options in what I think – ‘of course i’m going to be destructive, it’s what i’ve always been exposed to, it’s the only way i know’ or ‘i’ve seen such destruction and i know how horrible it is, i want to make sure i have nothing to do with such destruction’. In choosing the latter option, i deciding my own fate and ensuring that my actions don’t proliferate the destruction, which is something that really motivates me to recover – i don’t want to influence any other condition so i must recover!!
What I learned from the book is that we need to participate in the world and not live it through thinking and observing. The latter option only serves to make the thinker insecure and doubtful, whereas the former option allows one to express and feel apart of something, which I think is so important to feel. It really reiterated the point made in groups about making your own world happen and choosing what you want to do, instead of being a victim of your environment. I can choose to be the person I want to be and that in turn makes me more authentic and individual. 🙂
‘Wonder’ by Raquel J.Palacio
Written by Roxy8
I cannot recommend this book enough. As I walked through Easons I felt such a strong urge to read this book and I wasn’t disappointed. It was a lovely thought provoking read and to be honest it’s the first full book that I’ve read from cover to cover in years.
The book is about a young boy called August Pullman who was born with a rare facial deformity. He has undergone various surgeries over the years but is subjected to stares, horrified looks and at times bullying over his appearance.
The story is told by August and other characters such as his friends, sister etc.
It really highlights body appearance etc. Although the book sounds very heavy it’s told from the perspective of a 10 or 11 year old boy so it’s really not that heavy. In saying that it is very very emotional so maybe some people would rather read it in the morning.
It highlights the importance of facing challenges, love, acceptance, friendships, bravery and above all KINDNESS.
Another plus for this book particularly for those who struggle to concentrate is that the chapters are mini chapters consisting mostly of 2-3 pages and are based on a particular event etc.
It’s a children’s book aimed at children of about that age but it’s really a very compelling book for all ages
I cannot recommend it highly enough.
I am Malala by Malala Yousafzai with Christen Lamb
This is the truly amazing story of Malala Yousafzai, a brave young women who stood up for the right to an education in the face of the Taliban and paid a heavy price.
Told in Malala’s own words this beautiful naritive combines cultural, political and family history. It paints a stunning and vivid picture of a young girls life in war torn Pakistan and Afghanistan and her fight for education.
One of the most touching moments is when Malala is describing how her parents meet and how they saw the real inner beauty in each other.
It is ultimtly a very human story of what can happen when courage over comes adversity and how the human speirt can journey on to achieve great thing.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
The Hospital By The River by Dr Catherine Hamlin with John Little
This book tells the inspirational story of Dr Catherine Hamlin and her husband Reg Hamlin. Catherine and Reg are Australian doctors, gynaecologist who went to work to Ethiopia and dedicated their lives to helping women who suffered the catastrophic effects of obstructive labour. What comes across in this book is Hamilton’s compassion for every aspect of the human race. Even though the stories of what these women went through are horrific, the compassion and care they received from Reg and Catherine shows that anything can be overcome. Many of these women who received their care are working in this clinic today and helping others. This book restores your faith in humanity, and allows you to see the human face of the medical profession.