All of us experience anger and often we are feeling very uncomfortable to talk about it. Anger can be so confussing. I remember how I used to trying to tell to my therapist that I never get angry, I do not know what it is to feel anger. I used to be so proud of it, I am not an angry person…
Today I see anger so different, I was in a huge denial of basic human emotion. I associate anger with something very negative, something to be ashame of, something what only “bad people” do, I was really scared and petrified of my own anger.
Today I learned that anger is an emotion that often we are uncomfortable with and try to avoid or deny, but we need to see it in a different light.
An anger is an Energy. It is not the anger that is negative, it is the way we are dealing with our anger, it is lack of understanding our own ager what is dangerous. I realised that feelings were often difficult for me to express. When we have problem with expressing our own feelings and emotions, we have difficulties in handling other people’s emotions. I needed to accepted my own agers and deal with it in a constructive way, not to be ashamed of it.
Unexpressed or destructive anger can:
– Disrupt your life
– Control your thoughts
– Ruin your relationships
– Cause pain, health problems and other emotional problems
– Leave a negative impression
– Cause a self-destructive behaviour and much much more…
On the opposite side constructive dealing with anger can help us:
– Release tension
– Help you to communicate when you are upset
– Resolve hidden conflict
– Give you new ideas
– Alert you
Our anger can become a healthy energy, when it is directed in a constructive way.
Sometime the simple things can help us to deal with our anger like:
Count to ten – does actually work because anger tends to evaporate as quickly as it rises and a time delay often give you a chance to cool down.
Wait until you are no longer angry before trying to discuss ongoing issues that are causing discomfort.
Distinguish between trivial ‘blow ups’ and those that may mask deeper problems that should be talked out later.
When somebody is very angry towards you, try not to retaliate – rather try and see their pain in order to try and understand why they are angry.
Remember anger is not always expressed immediately, so look beyond the current situation to find clues as to the cause of anger.
It is always better to express anger in a calm rational way, as it happens. Anger is not always loud and forceful; it can be internal and cold. If anger is not expressed, it will come out later in a far more negative way.
We need to be very careful the effect it has on our body. We might not know what we feel, but our body will always register it. Psychosomatic symptoms are often as a substitute way of expressing our anger.
Dealing with anger is very important part of mental self-care.
Let’s start now – let’s get angry at the condition and make a decision that all the energy will go to the recovery, you will not regret that.
Thank you for reading it