Written by Blue Eyed Bird
Group on Saturday was on responsibility. Responsibility is like the enemy of condition, the enemy of being the sick damsel in distress who needs someone to rescue her. There’s a time and place for the damsel (i.e. when there’s a spider in your room, when the jar won’t open, when you need a lift etc) but not in terms of recovery. You have to do the work. You have to put in effort. Two things that I have been hiding from lately. So why not make life a bit easier? Go back to basics of what helped in the beginning? For me, that was writing. Also, I haven’t felt like expressing myself for a while like this due to avoiding vulnerability. So to take on that fear, I wrote a poem about my life right now. Then I started trying to change it to suit other people. So I’ll leave it as it is and not try to paint myself as something I’m not in fear of what others think (made up fears).
I’ve embraced responsibility since group and it’s only been a day and so many things have changed from little but significant choices in relation to thoughts and actions.
I sit here.
Has my heart been cracked in two?
Was it love or did I really ever know you?
The feelings. Emotions. These gifts that I numb
I choose to avoid them,
To use food like use rum
So today, right now, I choose to embrace
My body will settle as the pain leaves my face.
Yet time. It takes times to heal.
So take it second by second,
Take it green thought to meal.
If I wallow in this mess, a dark pit of pity,
Losing friends, dreams and laughs
I’ll never move city.
So freedom? Recovered? Is that your true goal?
Action is the solution
Climb out of this hole.
.. Hugs and Freedom vibes for this week,
Blue Eyed Bird xxx