Written by Andrea x
Can you imagine a person who was imprisoned for years of their life? Locked away from the outside world for weeks and months at a time. Living in darkness and despair, wishing every day for freedom.
Imagine this person was freed from their jail, let loose on the world only to be told they had to wear handcuffs for the rest of their life-they are free but they can’t quite live life 100% with the handcuffs reminding them they are still under a certain kind of restraint. Is this even freedom? The handcuffs may be small but they are restricting. Is this the type of freedom you would be happy with? ED can often leave us feeling like a prisoner of our own minds and of course we all strive for freedom but, what is your definition of freedom?
Lately I’m seeing a lot in the media about people who claim to be free having recovered from Eating Distress but they also say that they will have to watch what they eat for the rest of their lives. They say they are free but they will always be subject to ED or destructive thoughts. Pause for a second-this is not freedom. This is still living with the handcuffs on-there are still conditions to this freedom, therefore it renders this so called freedom void.
Real freedom is 100%. There are no conditions when it comes to freedom. We all have different definitions of what Freedom means to us, what we want from life, what our goals are but I’m guessing nobody wants to limit their Freedom. There are no handcuffs, there are no conditions on food. There is no substituting one behaviour for another. Freedom is exactly what it says in the tin-FREEDOM. There are no limitations or restrictions.
In recovery I always strived for the very best definition of Freedom not because the ED told me too (ED likes to be the best) but because nothing less than full Freedom is what I deserved . There is no second best when it comes to life because you deserve the best possible life you can have-you only have one life. You need to make the most of it so give yourself a chance by striving for real freedom.
I find it disheartening to hear people claiming to be free or recovered when they quite clearly aren’t. It sends out the wrong message to people who are trying to recover-they are sending out the message that this is as good as it gets-still struggling albeit not as bad a struggle but struggling nonetheless. You do not deserve to struggle, remember you deserve much much more.
Full Freedom does exist, picture yourself fully free, handcuffs left well behind. It’s not easy to get to this point of the journey but nothing worth having is ever easily achieved. We all face rocky patches in the recovery process, there are certainly a few hurdles to overcome. There are times of stagnation and frustration but we learn from these and with this learning we can continue doing what is necessary to ensure full freedom and never settling for anything less than we deserve.